she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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