I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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