Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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