my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
