i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
