Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
