idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
