so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
