this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
