i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
