I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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