How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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