In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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