I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
