Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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