guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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