I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
