just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
