Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
