oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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