There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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