I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
