this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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