THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have fence marks all over my body
I touched a dick in church today
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
