Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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