i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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