Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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