I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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