and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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