When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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