Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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