she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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