careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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