It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
