And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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