so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
