i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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