What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
