Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
