Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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