your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
