If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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