Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
