i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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