he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
