More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
