I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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