WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
