Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm experimenting with sincerity
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
