If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
