It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
