Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
