Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
