Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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