So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
