like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
