Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
